Empowerment Consciousness Versus Victim Consciousness
By Sandra Couts

Driving down the highway you adhere to the speed limit. Suddenly, a car going fifteen miles over the speed limit passes you and darts in front of you. The fear of being killed hits your body like a lightening bolt. You put your foot on the brake slowly, creating a safe distance between you and the car in front of you. You take a few deep breaths and calmly continue on your trip.

This is a perfect example of not allowing the actions of another to ruin your day. Of all the options available in responding to another car creating the potential for an accident, you responded instead of reacting. You chose to remain in charge of the situation rather than become a victim to someone else’s actions. 

A victim is defined as someone who suffers from a destructive or injurious act, someone subjected to oppression, hardship or mistreatment. Who in life has not received ill treatment by another’s actions? Perhaps someone spread malicious rumors about you, violated your body, or was rude to you. Depending on the severity of the ill treatment received, it is easy to become emotionally stuck in the incident and begin to live from a place of shame, blame and disempowerment. This creates within you a victim consciousness.  The components of living from a victim consciousness include the following:

• Blaming others for your feelings or actions. “If she hadn’t gossiped about me, I would have gotten that promotion”.
• Making others responsible for your happiness. “If only she would tell me that she loved me more, then I would feel good about myself”.
• Living from emotional wounds of the past. “My parents neglected me as a child and now I don’t know how to take care of myself”.
• Feeling responsible for others action and choices. “If only I had not expressed my anger, he would not have left me”. “If I tell my Mom how I feel, she will get upset”.
• Being unwilling to let go of the past and let others change. “We had fun during her last visit, but I remember the time she hurt my feelings on another visit.”
• Being unwilling to receive support from others and heal the hurts. “No one could possibly understand what it felt like to be slapped in the face.”
• Giving your power away. “I overate because I was feeling lonely.”
• Asking others for their approval or permission. “Would you mind if I go to the movies tonight?” “What shirt ought I wear to the party?”
• Allowing others to treat you with disrespect.
• Letting others make your decisions for you due to a lack of self confidence or a fear of retaliation.

Living from a victim consciousness disconnects you from your own power, depletes your inner resources and allows others to dictate who you are and how you live your life, while living from an empowerment consciousness gives you the opportunity to be connected to your own power, experience happiness, use your inner resources and live freely.

The following tips support you in living from an empowerment consciousness.

1. Make decisions without asking for anyone’s approval. Being decisive develops self-confidence and allows you to be a free thinker. Remember that what others think of you is none of your business. Why would you not apply for a job that would make you happy just because it’s work that a friend would never do?
2. Allow yourself to make mistakes.
3. Learn from your mistakes.
4. Let go of the past.
5. Be with people who like and appreciate you.
6. Forgive others for hurting you consciously or unconsciously.
7. Stop blaming others. Regardless of what others may have done to hurt or harm you, blaming them for how you now live your life keeps you a victim. That is not to say, that others cannot be held accountable for their behavior, rather it is to say that you are the only one living your life. Freeing yourself from the emotional grip of others allows you to be responsible for yourself.
8. Stop gossiping. Gossiping is a habit of talking about others behind their back often saying negative or hurtful things. Taking a sincere interest in the well being of another person is different than gossiping. People find it easier to talk about people rather than to people. Gossiping is a form of disempowerment.  
9. Take full responsibility for your feelings, your thoughts, and your actions.
10. Know that people do and can change, at any time, at any age.
11. Do what you love and enjoy regardless of what others may think.
12. Get support from others. Some hurts, some injuries, some situations require extra support. Simply changing an attitude or an action is not enough to heal the wound so you do not have to stay stuck in the past. Depending on your circumstances, do not hesitate to ask for support in healing any emotional wound. Recommended avenues for healing include Full Wave Breathing™, Energetic Renewal™, Inner Child work, support groups, or intuitive counseling.

Sandra Couts MSN, RN is an Intuitive Counselor, Certified Full Wave Breathing Facilitator, Author, and a Certified Parent Coach.  For more information about her services or to make an appointment for a phone session call her toll free at 1-866-501-2555.

Living Fully in the World
By Sandra Couts & Rebecca Woulfe

Like a walk along a sandy beach,

or a stroll through the cool night air of summer,

bring joy and ease to every waking moment.

Open your heart. Open your mind.

Open yourself to all that is possible in this place.

See yourself as your beloved.

Be true to your own beloved, yourself.

Adorn yourself with the gems you brought with you.

Within you is a jewel.

Know the grace of the lotus,

the sweetness of the nectar,

and the juice of the ocean.

Ride your waves with courage and passion.

Stand up and shout to the world

“I am alive and free”.

Let yourself be known for all of you.

From the workbook, Walking the Path of the Heart, by Sandra Couts and Rebecca Woulfe.